IAN'S DEATH

You can't just avoid what you've been through.
Even if you're trying the best that you can.
In my dreams you're so out of focus,
These feelings I don't understand.

How can I prove I'm a person,
When there's nothing inside day-to-day?
How can I describe what I'm seeing,
When I don't have the words to say?

And then going gets tough,
And I've given it all.
Eyes dark, relentless,
I have started a war.

Was this love my mistake?
Is this really a crime?
I can't reach you or anyone,
I'm falling further all the time.

Mother I tried please believe me,
I'm doing the best that I can.
I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through.
I'm ashamed of the person I am.

In the hours of dawn,
With no time left to spend.
I go from shaking on the floor,
To planning out the end.

When the going gets tough,
And you've felt it all.
Either with her or with you,
I still remained all alone.